Listen, here’s the deal.   Life sometimes throws curveballs and it really sucks.  We’ve all experienced having shit dumped on us…heck I just got caught in a flood in Costa Rica and my phone was ruined.  I lost everything on it and had to figure out how to find an extra $500 in my budget for a new one.  Not exactly a good day…

However, no matter what obstacles we face in life the stark reality is that 90% of life is pretty damned good for most of us.  It’s just that the other 10% sucks so badly that we tend to focus on it.  But there is a simple trick to making these tough moments better which enables us to live a happier life.

I remember this time that I got some bad news.   My  1991 Chevy Suburban had a flat tire which couldn’t be repaired.  Worse still, when I took it in the mechanic told me,

“Bad news, these tires are all shot and way past their lifespan… you need 4 new ones and I wouldn’t drive this thing far until you get them.”

$500 later and I had my new tires and no money left in the bank until payday.  Now the fact is that those tires said 50,000 miles right on the sidewall and I had this little device in my vehicle called an “odometer.”  I knew those tires were going to wear out, I just didn’t plan for it.  Instead of saving up a few bucks every month and being ready for this to happen I did what most of us do…  feigned surprise when they wore out and I needed to pay for new ones with a budget I didn’t plan on. Life is like those tires.

Shit IS going to happen.  We KNOW this without a shadow of a doubt.  Why are we surprised when it does?  Why do we feel victimized?  Why are we upset?  Frustrated?  Angry?  Listen, 90% of the time I had those tires was perfectly good and I was happy with them.  The only bad  thing was when something happened which I didn’t expect but should have.

In the same way we need to expect that 10% of life is going to suck.  We need to be prepared for this and instead of framing an emotional response which triggers stress and deflates our happiness, we ought to be perfectly ok with this.  Why?  Because the other 90% is great!

Have you ever met someone who just doesn’t get flustered no matter what happens?  Would you rather live your life this way or the way you’re currently living it?  My guess is that most of us would love to live the stress free life and just let problems roll off.

There’s a simple trick to do this and I call it the 9 times rule.

All you need to do is give the same energy to the good parts of life as you do to the bad.  This means that when a negative, stressful thought enters your mind, you need to immediately think of 9 positive things in your life.  Another negative thought?  Another 9 positive things.

Now, I said it was simple….  I didn’t say it was easy.  You’re going to fight yourself on this because it is in our nature to focus on the negative.  But as you force yourself instead to concentrate  EQUALLY on the  positive what happens is that you become more grateful.  Your mood improves immediately and you’re quickly able to develop a habit of this which will 100% change your life and make you happier.

I’m not suggesting that you walk through life without a care in the world.  I am simply telling you that if you will logically approach this and follow the 9x rule then your life will change and you will become a happier person within days.

This needs to become a habit for you to see real success and that means that you have to stick with it everyday, all day.   In the beginning what will happen is that you will try this and think of 2 or 3 positives and then your brain will come up with another negative thought.  This is because you have trained your brain to do this and it is only doing what you taught it to do.  So, obviously, if we can train our brains to be negative then we can train them to be positive.  But it’s just like exercise…

When you first start working out again your muscles are sore, you’re down in the dumps, you’re negative about your weight or strength or a million other things.  But within a couple of weeks the muscles have been trained…  they no longer hurt, you’re actually enjoying your workout, you’re proud of yourself for sticking with it.  See the difference that “Habit” makes?

Our brains are the same way… in the beginning it will be foreign and your brain will resist and for most of us, our brains do a damn good job at resisting.  But within days of applying the 9x rule your  brain will actually change and it will become easier and easier everyday.

So, think about this and take the 9x Rule Challenge… try it for 30 days.   Every single time you have a negative thought, force your brain to come up with 9 positive thoughts.  I promise you…  by the end of the 30 days you won’t even have to think about it anymore.   A negative thought will come into your mind and BOOM, 9 positive ones will cover it right up and you will be that happy, unflustered person that you admire.   Try it!